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Saturday, September 17, 2005


My New Favorite Blog

Is one the rest of the world has probably been reading for years, but I just discovered it. It's called 5ives and it's nothing but lists of five things that strike this guy's fancy.

I've put my two favorite lists below. I've enve created one of my own because, i too, think I use a lot of ass-related words. I'm pretty sure he would have included these if he lived in Baku, because they are artful and communicate important concepts.

Five ass-related words I think I use a lot:
--metric assload (n.) - a lot
--asshat (n.) - willfully ignorant person
--assy (adj.) - unacceptably low-quality
--big-ass (adj.) - large
--asstacular (adj.) - really bad

People in Baku tend to use ass-related words as well. Here are our favorites:

--ass-master (n) -- one who is a specialist in little else but one's own ass.
--ass-ectomy (n) -- process of confidently responding to a question with no actual knowledge of correct answer in meetings with people who are asshats.
--smells like ass (adj) -- i.e. Baku smells like....
--ass fat (n) -- lard obtained from nether regions of Caucasian ovines, favored base of Azeri cuisine. Alt: result of diet based largely on said substance
--15 different kinds of ass - (adj) unpleasant in many different ways

And my other favorite, 'cause I think this guy and I went to the same county fairs in the early '80s:

Five things you could win at the carnival (1983)
--Roach clip with feathers
--Coarsely grained, oddly hard, stuffed animal
--Lynyrd Skynyrd coke mirror
--Another throw
--Big-ass pink comb

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