Carpetblogger

Those of you NOT living in the former Communist world may not be aware that yesterday was "International Women's Day."

It used to be a big Commie tribute to the important contributions women make to building the ideal socialist society that so many of these garden spots were, prior to the disaster of 1991.

Now, it's a banner day for flower sellers and peddlers of cheap perfume.

This was by far the biggest holiday since I've been here. Everyone takes the day off and lots of shops are closed. Men are expected to buy gifts and flowers and candy and offer their congratulations for ALL the women in their lives, not just their sweethearts or mothers. Failure to do so is a serious faux pas.

Indeed, traffic in Baku, which rarely sets land speed records, was absolutely gridlocked on Tuesday afternoon, as men rushed out to make last minute purchases. Frantic men spilled out the front doors of flower and gift shops. It was worse than a mall on Christmas Eve.

Another reason why it was different from most other days is that Azeri men are obligated to take their wives, rather than their mistresses, out to dinner. Restaurants were filled with shyly jubilant, matronly women, all dolled up for the one night a year their husbands take them out.

The whores probably spent the evening doing their nails.

Since I am the boss, I got a lot of flowers and congratulatory phone calls. Personally, I like this holiday a lot. Next year, I will make a mental note of those who do not acknowledge my womanhood with gifts and flowers and congratulatory phone calls for future retribution.

However, I also believe that the importance a country places on this absurd holiday is inversely proportionate to the positive regard in which women are held the other 364 days a year.